Thursday, May 3, 2012

Early Morning Thoughts

Once again there is so much to write about.  It is currently 5:12am and I have been awake for at least the last hour.  This is starting to become routine and I'm trying to tell myself that it is again my body's way of getting me prepared for what is to come in a matter of weeks.  This pregnancy has flown by.  It's hard to believe that in no more than 5-6 weeks we will be welcoming another sweet boy into our family.  That thought and reality is exciting yet very overwhelming to me at the same time.  I was talking with a coworker the other day, who recently had her second child, about the differences between our first and second pregnancies.  We talked about the physical differences (earlier aches and pains, increased fatigue, etc.) but most of the conversation revolved around the emotional differences and differences in activities related to preparing for a second baby.  While there have been some preparations related to getting ready for the baby (various projects around the house, organizing etc.) most of the prep has been related to getting Nolan ready for a sibling and thinking about what it's going to be like to have two children and not just one.  With the first child your entire focus is on the pregnancy itself, buying things, getting things ready, taking classes, having baby showers, anticipating all of the changes of adding a new little person into your life.  With the second child, especially since we are having another boy, there aren't many things to buy, no classes to attend, and while there is obviously an awareness of the pregnancy and great anticipation for who this little one will be and what it will be like with two boys, my focus is not just on the pregnancy because I have a very active 2 1/2 year old to run around after.  Because of these differences it has been important to me to find ways of making this pregnancy special and unique in other ways.  For example, when we had our ultrasound and found out that we were having another boy I wanted to make that announcement to our family and close friends in a unique way.  Kevin downloaded a song with the lyrics "lets hear it for the boy..." and sent it out through email.  It has also been important to me to include Nolan in the pregnancy and preparations.  One way that we have done this has been through the #weeks pictures.  Nolan gets pretty excited about helping mommy make the sign and holding it up to show how many weeks his little brother has been in mommy's tummy.

Similar to the first pregnancy, the anticipation is definitely rising as we get closer to the due date.  The anxiety related to the actual labor is starting to set-in and wondering how Nolan will respond are consuming my thoughts.  I am more aware of all the "lasts" that are happening:  last trip up to Goshen with one child, last holidays spent as a family of 3, last outings alone with Nolan, wondering what night will be the last night tucking Nolan in before he becomes a big brother, etc.  These aren't sad lasts but they are strange to think is again getting ready to change!

Soon my focus will not be on reflecting on the differences between my pregnancies and how to make them each special and unique but rather it will be on the wonderful differences between my two sons and the importance of making them each know how special and unique they are to me.

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